Hammervision's 10 Best and Worst Movies of 2009!

Another year, another Top 10 list. Given work and family obligations, and other social activities, I did fairly well this year, having seen 131 movies. Would I liked to have seen more? Of course. Are there still some I need to see before the Oscars? Yes (An Education, A Single Man, and The Messenger). But the list below represents the ten best moviegoing experiences I had in 2009. So, let's get to it:


10. (500) Days of Summer. In a year of crappy romantic comedies, (500) Days stood out as a breath of fresh air and restored some respectability to the genre.


9. Drag Me to Hell. Unleashed from the big-budget confines of the Spider-Man franchise, Sam Raimi had a blast returning to his Evil Dead roots, and put the fun back in being scared.


8. Up. Pixar does it again, in this, their most emotionally resonant work to date. It will have you bawling in the first ten minutes.


7. Fantastic Mr. Fox. This stop-motion animated wonder reinvigorated Wes Anderson's career and proved effortlessly charming and fitfully funny, all at the same time.


6. I Love You, Man. In a perfect world, Paul Rudd would get recognized with an Oscar nomination for his stellar comedic performance in this hilarious and insightful look at modern male friendships.


5. District 9. Neill Blomkamp made a heck of a first impression on audiences with this wholly original, instant sci-fi classic.


4. Zombieland. Stylishly funny and wickedly demented, Zombieland kicks serious ass and features a truly great A-list star cameo.


3. Up in the Air. A nearly flawless comedic drama, with a brilliant star turn by George Clooney. I'd be shocked if this didn't win Best Picture.


2. Star Trek. Easily the most re-watchable movie of the group (I've already seen it 6 times), J.J. Abrams' smart reboot of the long-running franchise did the unthinkable: it made Star Trek cool.


1. Inglourious Basterds. Quentin Tarantino's best movie since Pulp Fiction is a love letter to cinema disguised as a war flick, and a master class on how to build nerve-racking suspense out of sharp dialogue. Surefire Best Supporting Actor winner Christoph Waltz, as "Jew Hunter" Hans Landa, gives the performance of the year.

Honorable Mention: Anvil! The Story of Anvil; Avatar; State of Play


So that's the best of the year. But for every gift the movie gods giveth, they also taketh away, and here are the 10 worst movies I had the displeasure of suffering through this year.


10. Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Stupid but benign, you might say? True, but when junk like this makes $145 million (!) at the box office, I have to question the sanity of American moviegoers.


9. Did You Hear About the Morgans? Yes, I did hear about them. They suck.


8. Dance Flick. Why some lesser-known Wayans brother was given millions of dollars to make this unfunny "parody" when there are so many other talented, unknown filmmakers out there is beyond me.


7. Inkheart. You can blame the success of Harry Potter for this - yet another adaptation of an uninspired, children's adventure book. An incoherent mess.


6. The Final Destination. Weak 3D effects and a past-its-prime storyline have put the final nail in the coffin of this franchise. Borderline incompetent.


5. Jennifer's Body. Juno's Diablo Cody suffers the very definition of the "sophmore slump" with this witless horror comedy that elicits zero scares and even fewer laughs.


4. Bride Wars. A slap in the face to females everywhere. Gives the term "chick flick" such a bad name that it's almost a crime.


3. Pandorum. Sci-fi fans will find themselves scraping the very bottom of the barrel with this one. The action scenes are incomprehensible, and so is the plot.


2. Halloween II. I cannot believe I paid money to see this as a form of entertainment. Unnecessarily gruesome without any style or purpose.


1. Everybody's Fine. Not so fine? The audience after sitting through this cloying, tidy, and suffocatingly cute/quirky dysfunctional family dramedy.


Thanks for reading this year. See you at the movies in 2010!


And, as a bonus, here's the full rundown of movies seen in '09, ranked in order from best to worst (subject to change upon repeat viewings), with titles purchased and/or to be purchased indicated in bold:

1. Inglourious Basterds (*****)
2. Star Trek (*****)
3. Up in the Air (*****)
4. Zombieland (****1/2)
5. District 9 (****1/2)
6. I Love You, Man (****1/2)
7. Fantastic Mr. Fox (****)
8. Up (****)
9. Drag Me to Hell (****)
10. (500) Days of Summer (****)
11. Anvil! The Story of Anvil (****)
12. State of Play (****)
13. Avatar (****)
14. Julie & Julia (****)
15. The Cove (****)
16. Sugar (****)
17. The Hangover (***1/2)
18. World's Greatest Dad (***1/2)
19. The Hurt Locker (***1/2)
20. Taken (***1/2)
21. Extract (***1/2)
22. He's Just Not That Into You (***1/2)
23. Sherlock Holmes (***1/2)
24. Funny People (***1/2)
25. Away We Go (***1/2)
26. Adventureland (***1/2)
27. By the People: The Election of Barack Obama (***1/2)
28. The Princess and the Frog (***1/2)
29. It's Complicated (***1/2)
30. The Box (***1/2)
31. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (***1/2)
32. Bruno (***1/2)
33. Two Lovers (***1/2)
34. Last Chance Harvey (***1/2)
35. The Informant! (***)
36. Precious (***)
37. Observe and Report (***)
38. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (***)
39. The Road (***)
40. Paranormal Activity (***)
41. The International (***)
42. Moon (***)
43. The Last House on the Left (***)
44. The Time Traveler's Wife (***)
45. Trick 'r Treat (***)
46. The Soloist (***)
47. Michael Jackson's This Is It (***)
48. Crazy Heart (***)
49. Watchmen (***)
50. Public Enemies (***)
51. Duplicity (***)
52. Terminator Salvation (***)
53. Brothers (***)
54. 17 Again (***)
55. Monsters vs. Aliens (***)
56. 9 (***)
57. Defiance (***)
58. A Serious Man (***)
59. Humpday (***)
60. Sunshine Cleaning (***)
61. Fast and Furious (***)
62. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (***)
63. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (***)
64. Sorority Row (***)
65. Friday the 13th (***)
66. Management (***)
67. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (***)
68. The Great Buck Howard (***)
69. Where the Wild Things Are (**1/2)
70. Coraline (**1/2)
71. Angels & Demons (**1/2)
72. The Blind Side (**1/2)
73. Law Abiding Citizen (**1/2)
74. Couples Retreat (**1/2)
75. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (**1/2)
76. Ninja Assassin (**1/2)
77. Knowing (**1/2)
78. My Bloody Valentine 3-D (**1/2)
79. The Invention of Lying (**1/2)
80. G-Force (**1/2)
81. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (**1/2)
82. Fired Up! (**1/2)
83. 2012 (**1/2)
84. The Taking of Pelham 123 (**1/2)
85. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (**1/2)
86. The Uninvited (**1/2)
87. Surrogates (**1/2)
88. Invictus (**)
89. The Brothers Bloom (**)
90. The Men Who Stare at Goats (**)
91. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (**)
92. Year One (**)
93. Shorts (**)
94. Whip It (**)
95. Tyson (**)
96. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (**)
97. Fighting (**)
98. Confessions of a Shopaholic (**)
99. Land of the Lost (**)
100. The Ugly Truth (**)
101. The Pink Panther 2 (**)
102. Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (**)
103. 12 Rounds (**)
104. Planet 51 (**)
105. Race to Witch Mountain (**)
106. Push (**)
107. The Unborn (**)
108. Disney's A Christmas Carol (**)
109. The Girlfriend Experience (**)
110. The Haunting in Connecticut (**)
111. Notorious (**)
112. Obsessed (*1/2)
113. Fame (*1/2)
114. Crank: High Voltage (*1/2)
115. Fanboys (*1/2)
116. Orphan (*1/2)
117. The Proposal (*1/2)
118. Whatever Works (*1/2)
119. Nine (*1/2)
120. I Love You, Beth Cooper (*)
121. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (*)
122. Paul Blart: Mall Cop (*)
123. Did You Hear About the Morgans? (*)
124. Dance Flick (*)
125. Inkheart (*)
126. The Final Destination (*)
127. Jennifer's Body (*)
128. Bride Wars (*)
129. Pandorum (*)
130. Halloween II (*)
131. Everybody's Fine (*)

- John