Kingdom of Heaven (**)

What a disappointment. Ridley Scott directs with his usual flair for creating beautiful imagery and realistic, fully developed worlds, but that's all this movie has going for it. Orlando Bloom plays Balian, one of the most bland, uninteresting heroic leads in any recent epic to date. There is nothing to him. He's noble. He's decent. He'll put you to sleep. The story is a muddled mess. I didn't know much about the Crusades going into the movie, and I think I know even less coming out of it. Characters come and go without giving the viewer any real sense of who they are, what they stand for, and what they want. Is Jeremy Irons good or bad? Who knows? Further, what was Ridley thinking when he signed on to direct this film? Troy, for all its faults, was entertaining at least and featured a great rivalry between Pitt's Achilles and Bana's Hector. Even Alexander, one of the most bloated and problematic films of last year, was better. Kingdom's biggest weakness? It is boring. Beware of the ads promoting this as the next Gladiator. I hear Ridley has a director's cut that's an hour longer. While I'm sure it adds depth to the characters and avoids some of the choppy editing on display here, I can't possibly imagine trying to sit through this thing again.