Sunday, August 09, 2009

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (**1/2)

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. 118 mins. PG-13. Directed by Stephen Sommers. Written by Stuart Beattie and David Elliot. Starring Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Sienna Miller, Rachel Nichols, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Dennis Quaid.

G.I. Joe is the last of summer's big action blockbusters, and if you weren't already exhausted by sitting through Transformers, Pelham 123, and Wolverine, you will after seeing this. Loud, dumb, and frantic, G.I. Joe is a movie with the attention span of a 10-year-old boy, and with good reason, it's aimed squarely at that segment of the moviegoing public. Never one for subtlety, Van Helsing's Stephen Sommers is in the director's chair after a five-year absence, and though he was given a huge budget (a reported $175 million), you can't really tell. The special effects are terrible and look like a draft rendering, rather than the final product. The acting is atrocious, even by esteemed industry vets like Dennis Quaid. You know you're in trouble when Marlon Wayans gives one of the better performances in the movie. Hell, even (500) Days of Summer's usually reliable Joseph Gordon-Levitt is bad. The plot is beside the point - this is a movie designed to sell toys. With that in mind, it's somewhat successful. 10-year-old boys will love it, and will certainly want to rush out and buy a Duke action figure. I didn't quite get there, but I did appreciate the middle action sequence set in Paris, where Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Wayans) are running around the city in these super-duper suits that make them run 100mph, jump high, and do all sorts of other cool stuff. G.I. Joe is fast-paced and action-packed, but it's just too silly and frantic for it's own good, as if slowing things down for a second would somehow reveal all the movie's inadequacies, even though they're fairly evident anyway. In fact, G.I. Joe is the very definition of empty calories: Sommers and company stuff a lot of things down your throat, and you're left feeling full, fed-up, and not at all satisfied. Between this and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Hasbro has made a lot of money this summer, but I'd be pretty happy never seeing their logo in front of a movie again.



Post a Comment

<< Home