Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe (*1/2)

This is one pathetic attempt to cash in on the success of Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Lord of the Rings. Sure, millions read C.S. Lewis' books of the same name, but they deserved better film treatment than this. The child actors, aside from the little girl playing Lucy, have zero interesting traits. They don't really give off any sense of personality, and so we don't care what happens to them. Even worse are the special effects and entire look of the film. It appears that many scenes were filmed on cheesy soundstages with fake snow. Ugh. The character makeup is awful: extras look like they rushed getting into makeup so they could get to the set on time. Then there's Aslan. The most important CGI element of the film, and it's botched. Aslan better be realistic, and we better care about him. When he dies and is resurrected, it's almost meaningless. An afterthought. And this despite the unusually intense treatment given his death. Tilda Swinton is scary, but good in the role of the big meanie. It's a shame so many people are spending money on this pile of dung. It reminded me of all those dumb Hallmark TV miniseries from the late '90s, like Merlin and Gulliver's Travels. Bad special effects, characters you don't care about, and an excruciating running time of 140 minutes make Narnia one of the biggest misfires of the year. I fear any more "Chronicles." But hey, they can't get any worse, can they?


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